May 28, 2018 By Nick
Pattaya is the mongering capital of the world, no the sex vacation capital of the world.
Literally, it’s the world capital of perversion and it is just 60 miles from Bangkok.
But it could all be coming to an end.
Pattaya wants to clean up its act and it is closing a serious amount of Go-Go and beer bars.
Will they see it through and turn Pattaya into an upscale family resort?
Probably not, but if you haven’t been to the Disneyland of sex, then you should probably book your trip right now and be safe.
20% of Pattaya Population is a Prostitute
There are 27,000 prostitutes in Pattaya, which is 20% of the population.
If you tell people you’re going on holiday to Pattaya, even a nun will know what you’re going to do.
It’s so obvious we were going to leave the travel guide to Pattaya, but then it felt like we were trying too hard to be different.
So here it is, the monger’s guide to Pattaya, in all its sordid glory.
1. Where to stay in Pattaya for mongers?
You can choose from a number of ‘bachelor friendly’ hotels, which are also known as girl friendly hotels.
Pinnacle Grand Jomtien – $58/night (10 minutes walk)
Airbnb Is A Great Option in Pattaya
Or you can take my traveller recommendation: rent an apartment in Pattaya on Airbnb.
Then you get total privacy, most of them come with a safe and you get a more luxurious experience, right on the doorstep, for less money.
Choose an apartment with great reviews, just like you would with a hotel, and you won’t have any issues.
You can even get $40 off when you sign up with my code.
Just sign up now and the discount will automatically be applied to your first booking in Pattaya or anywhere else!
2. Walking Street is like Mecca for mongers
Walking St doesn’t even come close to covering the Pattaya red light district, but it’s the iconic home of Pattaya’s sex industry.
It links the South End of Beach road to the Bali Hai Pier and is home to hundreds, well thousands of go-go bars and beer bars.
It’s closed to cars from 6pm-2am, which is when most the action dies down, hence the name.
3. Soi 6 is the ‘short time’ paradise
You don’t always want to take a girl home. You might just want to go, do the business and leave.
Soi 6 is the place to go for this. But it’s the area that the police and army are hitting hard right now.
Alternatively there are freelancers on Beach Road that know where to go and you’ll end up paying somewhere between 600-900 Baht ($20-30) for half an hour of fun.
4. What are the best go-go bars in Pattaya?
They close down all the time, and reopen with a different name, bu go-go bars are a staple of the Thai scene.
Basically girls dance, badly, on podiums, or come and hassle you to buy them a drink. It’s the warm-up act for taking them home, the drinks are expensive, compared to normal beer bars, and you have to be in the mood for them or the girls will be a bit intense.
If that’s what you’re there for, though, then just negotiate a bar fine and off you go.
These are generally considered the finest go-go bars in Pattaya.
- Peppermint – The girls actually seem to have fun, draft beer costs 80 Baht ($2.4) and the lady drinks are less than $5. That’s actually not too bad.
- Gentleman’s Club – The name is pure irony, but this is one of the ‘must see’ places in Pattaya.
- Windmill – Bad, weird things happen at the windmill. The management encourages it!
- Happy A Go Go – It’s got the most neon sign in the world, some of the best looking girls and a penchant for school uniforms.
- The Airport – The biggest go-go bar on Walking St with a reputation for amazing girls.
- Baccara – It has some of the best looking girls on the strip, but it’s a tourist trap so beware.
- Sugar Sugar – Want two girls? This is the place to go.
5. Are Thai girls beautiful?
Yes, if you’re into that kind of thing. A lot of them don’t really have an ass and tits are a rare commodity too.
But the good ones are really good.
Beach Road freelancers tend to be a little less good looking, and cheaper. So it’s up to you if you want to save a few bucks.
Personally, I prefer to pay a premium and have a great time.
If you really want to do that, you might consider meeting your girls before you get there. Semi-pros are online and they can be your girlfriend for the whole trip, or you can just meet them for a date.
Either way you’ll end up paying, but I have used this technique in a few different places and having a Rolodex of dates lined up is actually less stressful than going out on to the street.
Plus you won’t suddenly find she has a penis, which is a bonus…
So if you want to meet them before you go, join Thai Cupid and get rolling!
6. How much do girls cost in Pattaya?
As always, it’s negotiable. Expect to pay somewhere in the region of 1500-2000 ($45-$60) for a few hours, and 3000-5000 ($90-$150) and if they’re clever then they might hassle you for a tip.
The prettier the girl, the more you can expect to pay, but there’s always a limit and you should know yours in advance.
If a girl asks for too much, just tell her no. There’s a good chance her price will come down.
7. What is the Pattaya bar fine?
It’s a pretty odd system where you pay the bar to take the girl away for a few hours or the night. The idea is you compensate the bar for the amount the girl would have earned grabbing strangers off the street to buy her overpriced drinks.
So expect to pay 500-700 Baht ($15-20) to take a girl out of a beer bar and 750-1500 ($22-45) Baht to take a premium go-go girl out of a mainstream bar.
The bars have started to offer short-time bar fines and long-time, which is the whole night.
8. Are there good nightclubs in Pattaya?
Yes, you don’t always have to head to the go-go bars. Pattaya is a party town and you’ll find some good clubs, including:
- Mixx – Bali Hei Plaza – The classiest dance club in Pattaya, which is not saying much.
- The Pier Disco Club – Lasers, disco balls and podium dancers galore.
- Lucifer Disko – The best hip-hop venue in Pattaya.
- Candy Shop – A beach club vibe with a great terrace.
Of course you’ll find freelancers in there. But you can also just have fun and a few drinks. You don’t have to get laid every night.
9. Is Pattaya safe?
It depends, is the best answer to this one. If you’re hammered and wandering the streets late at night then you leave yourself open to getting robbed.
This could happen anywhere, but Pattaya does have its issues and criminals are drawn to the easy cash.
So have a mugger wallet, with a few Baht and an expired card. Hand that over and simply don’t carry anything else that you don’t need on you.
If you take a girl back, generally she’ll be OK if she came from a bar. That’s because you know where she works.
Still, take basic precautions. Girlproof your room before you go out at night and put everything of value in the safe or a locked case.
These are simple, basic precautions that you should take wherever you go.
10. What about drugs in Pattaya?
Thailand has a big problem with Yaba, which is basically a cocktail of methamphetamine and other mad shit.
It sends people nuts and can easily turn them into a robber. So if you meet a Yaba head in the street, get out of there, and if you think the girl you’re talking to looks ‘off’, she’s not worth the trouble.
Weed is fairly easy to get, but just remember you’re dealing with the criminal underworld. Get a girl to buy it for you and you’ll probably avoid most of the problems.
But it’s seriously illegal and you really don’t want to go to a Thai jail. So think carefully about it and maybe leave it alone until you get home.
If you’re thinking about it, Google the Bangkok Hilton and decide if you want to stay there for a while…
11. Will Ladyboys trick you in Pattaya?
There’s an old joke that the prettiest girls in Pattaya aren’t girls at all.
Like most jokes, it comes with a kernel of truth.
Some of the ladyboys are so scary convincing that you just wouldn’t be able to tell if you were drunk.
And there are some high profile stories of people finding out when they were in bed.
They won’t always volunteer the information because they need the money and once you’re in the room then you’re paying.
But they won’t con you, so don’t be afraid to just ask. Yes, one or two might get offended, but most of them will know why you’re asking the question and they’ll get over it.
Then again, maybe you don’t want to ask.If you don’t try something, you’ll never know if you like it!