May 31, 2018 By Nick
Ok this one is laden with controversy and there are so many different answers for ‘should a man pay on a first date’, that there is no clear cut best choice. One thing I will say is there are way too many chivalrous gentlemen sat at home yanking it on a Saturday night, so why not give my method a go?
My tactic isn’t just a choice, it turns the whole equation into something useful. It’s a loaded reverse shit test for girls and, if she fails, then you should fire her ass before she gets too comfy.
I know, scary huh? But these simple tactics will save you a fortune and if you go in with the right attitude then they’ll be winners too.
Conversely, if you ignore the dating red flags that this test can throw up then you could have a painful and expensive waste of time on your hands.
Dinner is a bad first date
First, don’t take her to dinner. Just don’t. It’s awkward, it’s formal and it’s a bit weird shovelling food into your mouth and trying to look suave at the same time. Then you’ve got the waiter constantly in your business.
It makes for a painful evening with someone you barely know.
Some girls will go out with you just for the nice dinner, too. It happens. So save that for later.
I ran a long experiment at one point and found that when I took a girl to dinner on the first date, it actually worked less well in terms of repeat business. I got less second dates when a restaurant got involved. Dinner is a massive drag, she’s tired and full and it’s a set-up date rather than the main event.
Considering how many women you want to date and spend time with, set-up dates are a flawed tactic from the off. They’re a bad investment. First dates, by definition, are often the last, too. So why throw money at the problem when the big issues is if you’re a good fit? Show her you’re not just trying to score points, you’re trying to find out if she’s good company.
Drinks are a better deal, for you…
So go for drinks. Use my trick. I tell them that dinner can be a hassle, drinks are more informal and fun. Sell it to her as a benefit. So now you have a more direct path to goal as a slightly drunk girl will be easier to escalate with, these are just facts. You’ve spent less to get to the good part too.
Go to a nice bar, I found an awesome members only cocktail bar in my town that made just the right impression. Cocktails are fun, too. They taste like holidays, they bring back happy memories and it’s a chance to be ridiculous, tell fun stories and get close.
Don’t take her to your local dive bar and don’t take her to meet the guys. Choose somewhere classy, but a place you can talk, ideally sit outside if it’s warm and a place with the right kind of feel to it.
Of course, get the first drink. Then, before it gets to the difficult moment where you’re looking at each other, just say confidently to her:
The multi-level payoff
Do it clearly, concisely and with a cheeky smile. This is going to pay off for you in one of a number of ways.
If she looks at you in disgust and says that girls don’t pay, you just filtered out a princess. You can laugh it off and pretend it didn’t happen if you want, but you’re a schmuck if you do and you will pay dearly somewhere down the line.
A classy girl who is confident and secure will like your cheek and she will buy the drink. A decent woman with a sense of fair play will appreciate it’s the right thing to do and a girl that was just unsure of the etiquette will thank you for taking a clear line.
This is just as murky for girls as it is for guys and none of us seem to know the rules anymore. It can actually get really awkward and just taking the lead like this can put her at ease.
It’s a shit test killer
If a woman is even thinking of shit testing you, too, she will back the f*** up and put her games away when she runs into this tactic.
If you’re prepared to send a woman to the bar then you’ve answered a lot of the questions that girls will have without her even asking them. You have shown you don’t need to buy her, that you value yourself and see yourself as a prize.
You will head off shit tests in advance with this one move and any woman that practices games of her own will be thrown off balance. She just won’t expect it and it will disrupt her strategy and make you interesting.
A girl with this mindset will actually respect you less if you pay for everything, she’ll see it as trying to buy her affections and you can even get yourself friend-zoned. In the modern world, this just isn’t cool. By taking the initiative and treating it as a normal thing that she’ll pay a little towards the night then it’s sets a healthy baseline.
You will lose some
Some women will be pissed off, they will hold it against you and they won’t go out with you again. They’re the girls you don’t want. They are the entitled princesses. So even this is a win in the long run.
Once you’ve run this reverse shit test then feel free to buy the cocktails, or the Champagne, or shots, depending on the location. It’s a subtle way of showing that it’s not about money. It’s about taking the centre of the ring, it’s dominant behaviour. Girls like that.
So that’s the tip. No dinner, just drinks, and she buys the second round. It’s a tactic that works.